Back to Auditions.

According to the Rachelyn Dictionary, the phrase "Back to Auditions" is defined: "Re-learning to handle rejection."

It's been a while since I've truly ached over an audition. The last time I remember crying over one was in late January/early February due to not getting cast in a musical I REALLY wanted to be in, and my close friend was cast, so I thought I was going to have to deal with the pain every time he went to rehearsals. A little dramatic? Just a tiny bit. It didn't hit me until probably a week later that I was competing with myself in auditions--no one else--plus it doesn't mean that I'm terrible and should end my dreams of performing...I just wasn't what they were looking for. You need to walk in there, show them that you're the best thing that ever happened to them, walk out, and forget about it. If not, you'll get discouraged if you constantly mull over them in your mind. It's kind of like having a "their loss" attitude if you aren't cast. ;)

I've known this for years. I've read this in multiple books. Why do I have to remind myself of this?
Ok. I have to admit...that...I had a little pity party for myself complete with hot chocolate and cookies the other night. I had rehearsed, recorded myself,  was critiqued by Rebecca and Austin, rehearsed and rehearsed some more for my first audition here in Chicago. It was for a Rodgers and Hammerstein revue called "Some Enchanted Evening" with a well known theatre company. The director had a "disclaimer" at the start of the auditions stating that he wants to move things along and will cut us when he has heard enough of our voice and will possibly ask some of us to stay longer so he can hear more. I was 4th to audition---I walked in and handed my music to Austin (who is music directing this show!), gave him my tempo, and we began. I sang "I wish I were in Love Again" which is an upbeat and has a quick tempo. I sang about 13 bars which moved very quickly, but these 13 bars were only the introduction and I didn't get to show my favorite parts of the song complete with my acting. I wasn't even into my song until right before I was cut off (My mistake, definitey--not theirs). I knew at that moment that I didn't stand a chance. I walked away from the audition begging inside my mind to please let me show more! I can do better! That was definitely the shortest audition I've experienced. I was reminded that evening of something: Be prepared the minute you walk in the door of the audition space! I was prepared when I got in the building, but as soon as I stepped in front of the director, my mind didn't focus and sing/act as I had rehearsed. Now I know better for next time.

The complete opposite feeling happened last night. I received a group e-mail from a director that I had auditioned for previously that they were wanting ladies to come in and audition that evening for a play at JPAC. They audition was to consist of a comedic monologue. I decided to go ahead an sign up to audition, but I only had a serious one prepared, so I began to learn one that was recommended by my friend. Over the next few hours, I worked and worked at it, and learned it. Since it was originally intended for a guy, I had to change a few words. Here's the monologue:

A Fat Temple



I looked in the mirror the other day and a horrifying thought came to mind, "I'm fat." Now, this started to worry me some so I thought on it throughout the day and then I went to lunch. I was kind of depressed so I didn't eat much. Then a revelation hit me, "Oh no, thinking you're fat is the first sign of anorexia." I could be starving to death and not even know it. Maybe that is why I can't get a date; I'm so scrawny I scare the guys away. And then I continued to consider this and I thought, "Oh no, what is I really am fat?" I could be second away from a heart attack. Maybe the guys think I'm a disgusting blob and that is why I'm single. I couldn't ask anyone because either I'd find out I'm anorexic or huge. So I began to think of way solve this issue. Then I realized I must simply come to terms and look at the positives of one of these issues. When I was young I was told I serve a big God. When I grew older I was told that the body is the temple of God's. So why not look at being fat as simply giving God more room. So I know I am on a daily quest to fight my battle with anorexia. This I promise will eat my way to victory. Please join me in my battle.
 
When I arrived at the audition, I was asked to begin my prepared piece, and I did. I ended proudly, and looked at the director only to see his face emotionless. I looked over at the other man, and he cracked a smile. Soon after, I began the cold reading from the script, which went pretty well. They thanked me, I wished them a good night, and went on my way. On my drive back home, I thought about the audition and could not stop laughing. They probably didn't take it comically at all, and might have taken it seriously! Did they think I was personally struggling with this and that's why I chose that monologue?
Laughing as a opposed to crying was definitely refreshing.
Oh dear. I have some serious reworking of that one to do if I'm ever going to do that monologue again.... ;)
 
Here's a photo from the Caroling gig!



Many people tell me I could be Snow White, but I didn't think that it was my only option until I saw this photo....haha, just kidding--I promise it was the flash and that I have a little bit of color. Well...pink.

Déjà vu.

In the afternoon of Wednesday, November 24, the six Primms squished into either the van or the car to begin a longer-than-planned journey up to Chicago. We had originally wanted to leave Tuesday evening, but if you truly know our family, it would come of no surprise to you that we didn’t leave until almost a day later ;). We did have excusable circumstances, though—one being the absolute necessity to bring our beautiful antique French mirror that we had found a just over a week prior at an estate sale. This proved a difficult task seeing that the mirror is 4’ tall and 5’ wide and couldn’t easily fit into the van with the many other items all crammed together. Mom’s brilliant solution: tie it to the top of the van. Of course, we were quite concerned about it the entire trip, but it made it safely into our apartment with just a little bit of water damage that leaked under the tarp.

We didn’t pull into Chicago until about 10:30am Thanksgiving day due to stopping to rest along the way.  As I was driving into the city and the beautiful architecture came into sight, a comforting feeling came over me. This is a place I know, and I don’t have to start completely over.  As soon as we pulled next to our new apartment, some of us headed over to our friend Austin’s house to prepare the Thanksgiving dinner, since he so graciously offered his kitchen due to our gas not being turned on yet. The other family members began to carry in furniture. The meal was wonderful, and we soon returned to carrying everything in.

The next day, our family took off to Flint, Michigan to clean out the storage unit which held furniture from my grandmother’s home that we stored after she passed away. A trip to Michigan wouldn’t be complete without a stop in Frankenmuth, MI, though! Frankenmuth is a little German town, and our favorite places there are the Bavarian Inn Restaurant (especially the buttered noodles!) and Bronners, which is the world’s largest Christmas store. The Bavarian Inn was our first destination. Snow was flurrying as we drove into the town, which was the perfect setting for the gorgeous Christmas light display. The food was delicious, as always. We soon went to a hotel to return again in the morning to Bronners. Next stop: the storage unit. We crammed the van full of furniture to take back to the apartment. Yep, we even tied a few things to the top—which caused for many stops along the way back to make sure it was secure/stop the tarp from flapping wildly.

It was an odd feeling being in Michigan. It was the first time that I had been there without Dad, so there was a down feeling, but yet there was a bit of comfort that I feel each time I am in Michigan or even just the Midwest. We spent so much time there growing up--visiting our grandparents, friends, other relatives –plus the fact that we were born there.  While driving, Rebecca and I remarked on how we were Midwesterners that grew up in the south…interesting combination for sure.

We all drove back to Chicago, unloaded more furniture, and a few hours later after everyone got a tiny bit of rest, Mom, Matthew, Victor, and Jonathan left to go back to North Carolina. They all were so kind in sacrificing their Thanksgiving break for us. They endured much work and stress just to help us!

Upon returning to Chicago, we were able to see “It’s a Wonderful Life: Live at the Biograph” (amazing cast/production!), “Frosty’s Shakes ‘n Dogs” (cute children’s show) –both of which were musical directed by Austin Cook, and “Home” at Court Theatre. My friend Matthew Sitz, the house manager of Court Theatre, was so kind in hooking Rebecca and me up with fantastic seats to see the show. Everything about the production was incredible.

Rebecca took over the decorating aspect of the apartment and it’s looking quite lovely. We have spent many hours in thrift stores finding the right touches. The thrift stores here in Chicago are amazing. HUGE selection, great prices, and if you go to our favorite thrift store chain, Village Discount Outlet, they are organized as well. It’s night and day difference in organization between the Village Discount and the Salvation Army stores here. The Salvation Army stores are one giant headache!

Reuniting with friends here has been wonderful.  I didn’t think I would ever see some of them again when I left Chicago back in June.  Having Rebecca here hanging out with them too has added an even more fun dynamic!

A huge blessing these past two and half weeks here: Already having 2 gigs. Sunday, December 5, I sang in a Christmas concert put on by my friend Kyle at a beautiful church in Lake Bluff, IL. I was shocked at how many people came out for the event. It was a lovely intimate concert, and the audience members were such kind people. The other event that I sang for was a gig that I found on Craigslist! Michael Goodman, singer/guitarist, posted his need for a female singer to sing with him at a private Christmas party. They were to be costumed as traditional carolers and sing throughout the home. I sent e-mailed my information, exchanged a couple more e-mails with him, and he stated that he would like me to sing with him. He later told me that the reasons why he picked me were because he wanted to help me out, because he read my blog and found out that I had just moved here, and my voice was more of the style that he was looking for. He just moved from Kentucky in August, so he is newer to the city as well. He mentioned that the home that we would be singing in was a recently restored $10,000,000 home downtown and the couple was very generous in their payment of musicians from his past experience of working with them. I was EXTREMELY excited. I met him at a costume shop, picked out the costume, and the next day we headed to the home. Six floors of beauty. We were greeted by valet, coat check girls, servers, and the couple—all were very kind. We changed, and sang outside as the guests drifted in, and an hour later we moved inside. I loved being a part of this gorgeous party. The servers were kind in making sure we were taken care of as far as water and hors d’oeuvres.  It was a grand experience. When I checked the envelope to see my payment, I was super thankful, because it covered half of rent. Now I don’t have to freak out as much about not having a job! ;)

The “blizzard” and single digit temperatures these past couple of days has been beautiful to gaze out the window into, but definitely a change from what we “southern” girls are used to! Still not used to the puffy coats and snow boots Chicagoans wear...although I did break down and get some from the thrift store so that I don’t freeze….haha!