It's been a while since I've truly ached over an audition. The last time I remember crying over one was in late January/early February due to not getting cast in a musical I REALLY wanted to be in, and my close friend was cast, so I thought I was going to have to deal with the pain every time he went to rehearsals. A little dramatic? Just a tiny bit. It didn't hit me until probably a week later that I was competing with myself in auditions--no one else--plus it doesn't mean that I'm terrible and should end my dreams of performing...I just wasn't what they were looking for. You need to walk in there, show them that you're the best thing that ever happened to them, walk out, and forget about it. If not, you'll get discouraged if you constantly mull over them in your mind. It's kind of like having a "their loss" attitude if you aren't cast. ;)
I've known this for years. I've read this in multiple books. Why do I have to remind myself of this?
Ok. I have to admit...that...I had a little pity party for myself complete with hot chocolate and cookies the other night. I had rehearsed, recorded myself, was critiqued by Rebecca and Austin, rehearsed and rehearsed some more for my first audition here in Chicago. It was for a Rodgers and Hammerstein revue called "Some Enchanted Evening" with a well known theatre company. The director had a "disclaimer" at the start of the auditions stating that he wants to move things along and will cut us when he has heard enough of our voice and will possibly ask some of us to stay longer so he can hear more. I was 4th to audition---I walked in and handed my music to Austin (who is music directing this show!), gave him my tempo, and we began. I sang "I wish I were in Love Again" which is an upbeat and has a quick tempo. I sang about 13 bars which moved very quickly, but these 13 bars were only the introduction and I didn't get to show my favorite parts of the song complete with my acting. I wasn't even into my song until right before I was cut off (My mistake, definitey--not theirs). I knew at that moment that I didn't stand a chance. I walked away from the audition begging inside my mind to please let me show more! I can do better! That was definitely the shortest audition I've experienced. I was reminded that evening of something: Be prepared the minute you walk in the door of the audition space! I was prepared when I got in the building, but as soon as I stepped in front of the director, my mind didn't focus and sing/act as I had rehearsed. Now I know better for next time.
The complete opposite feeling happened last night. I received a group e-mail from a director that I had auditioned for previously that they were wanting ladies to come in and audition that evening for a play at JPAC. They audition was to consist of a comedic monologue. I decided to go ahead an sign up to audition, but I only had a serious one prepared, so I began to learn one that was recommended by my friend. Over the next few hours, I worked and worked at it, and learned it. Since it was originally intended for a guy, I had to change a few words. Here's the monologue:
A Fat Temple
I looked in the mirror the other day and a horrifying thought came to mind, "I'm fat." Now, this started to worry me some so I thought on it throughout the day and then I went to lunch. I was kind of depressed so I didn't eat much. Then a revelation hit me, "Oh no, thinking you're fat is the first sign of anorexia." I could be starving to death and not even know it. Maybe that is why I can't get a date; I'm so scrawny I scare the guys away. And then I continued to consider this and I thought, "Oh no, what is I really am fat?" I could be second away from a heart attack. Maybe the guys think I'm a disgusting blob and that is why I'm single. I couldn't ask anyone because either I'd find out I'm anorexic or huge. So I began to think of way solve this issue. Then I realized I must simply come to terms and look at the positives of one of these issues. When I was young I was told I serve a big God. When I grew older I was told that the body is the temple of God's. So why not look at being fat as simply giving God more room. So I know I am on a daily quest to fight my battle with anorexia. This I promise will eat my way to victory. Please join me in my battle.
When I arrived at the audition, I was asked to begin my prepared piece, and I did. I ended proudly, and looked at the director only to see his face emotionless. I looked over at the other man, and he cracked a smile. Soon after, I began the cold reading from the script, which went pretty well. They thanked me, I wished them a good night, and went on my way. On my drive back home, I thought about the audition and could not stop laughing. They probably didn't take it comically at all, and might have taken it seriously! Did they think I was personally struggling with this and that's why I chose that monologue?
Laughing as a opposed to crying was definitely refreshing.
Oh dear. I have some serious reworking of that one to do if I'm ever going to do that monologue again.... ;)
Here's a photo from the Caroling gig!
Many people tell me I could be Snow White, but I didn't think that it was my only option until I saw this photo....haha, just kidding--I promise it was the flash and that I have a little bit of color. Well...pink.
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